That feeling in your chest

Hello, fellow thinker!

Have you ever experienced that peculiar sensation right in the middle of your chest, like a beast that takes your breath away? That feeling of restlessness, nervousness, or anxiety that seems to creep up, uninvited, leaving you searching for ways to quell it, but it’s never enough? It happens to me all the time, and I want to tell you about my relationship with that feeling in your chest. not your chest.. my chest.. you get it.

I started smoking when I was 16 and as a smoker, in my daily routine, that sensation in the chest (the beast) first made its grand entrance early in the morning. It was a sensation that would signal that it was time to have a smoke. Coupled with a cup of coffee, the warmth it brought, the instant, yet momentary relief, was the perfect cure for morning anxiety. My fellow smokers, friends from work, and I would stand outside in the bitter cold enjoying our morning talk and smokes. Those were the good old days because I didn’t care about the consequences and loved every minute of it. We had a couple of smokes, a bunch of laughs, and off to work we went with the craving blissfully satisfied. But it didn't take long for that craving to return, always starting from that very spot in my chest. Moreover, as stressful situations arose, it was easy to deal with them by just going to have another smoke. That’s during the workday. After work, we would go out for drinks at a happy hour - the ultimate release. We’d drink and smoke and talk all our troubles away. By the time we were done, I’d be relaxed - drunk, and the only worry on my mind from that day was, what excuse I was going to tell my wife for being so darn late again.

When I decided to quit smoking, I learned to listen to my body and cravings. I would describe the beast as a warm feeling, sometimes reddish, orange, or brown. It was a subtle pull or tug, nestled in my chest. I often wondered if others felt the same sensation when their cravings hit.

Years after quitting smoking, that beast resurfaced during moments of nervousness, stress, or anxiety. It would rear its head when worries piled up. A cigarette or a vape was the first thought, but I smoked so much, I had pain in my throat and lungs. There were times, I would drink a shot of something hard, just so the smoking wouldn’t hurt. Of course, once you have a drink, you’re going to smoke. I decided if I wanted to quit smoking, I had to quit drinking too'; They go together hand-in-hand. So after a long hard battle, I successfully quit both. Yet, after all that, that feeling in the chest remained and I had to find new ways to tame the beast. I needed to find ways to increase my capacity to be able to deal with life’s difficulties.

I've found a few ways to battle the beast.

Talking: I guess this is why they call it - “Getting things off your chest.” 💡 Confronting the problem head-on through conversation or Therapy is a great way to put the beast in its place. The worry might be coming externally from someone for their actions; Talking it out with them and laying it all down usually does the trick.

Adrenaline: Watching a good horror movie or riding a rollercoaster stirs up my emotions and gives me a rush that scares the beast and can temporarily give that much-needed release! Just be careful, just like sex, it can lead to cravings for a cigarette. 😁

Running and Exercise: I hop on a treadmill and run for 10-20 minutes until my breathing becomes intense, and my heart pounds in my chest. Inhaling and exhaling hard, I push myself until It feels like my lungs are on fire. It’s as if I purge all the negativity from within. Like I’m outrunning the beast. And the magic happens – the beast is left behind, far away. However, if I skip exercise for a day or two, it catches up, reminding me to stay committed to self-care.

These healthy activities can increase your capacity to handle life’s challenges and keep going. They all require you to overcome yourself in some way, but once you do, you can achieve satisfaction, clarity, and even dare I say, happiness.

Keep thinking my friends!

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