How I discovered more Time

As I continued down this path of sobriety, I received an unexpected gift: an abundance of time. I’m reminded of a phrase I like to play on: “Time flies when you’re having fun” – revising it to - “Time flies when you’re having Rum.” I know – Funny! – I saw it on a shirt once.

We've all experienced moments of fun with friends when hours seem to fly by. Weekdays often found me extending after-work hangouts, drinking cocktails and shots with clients, friends, and colleagues, oblivious to the passing hours. The late-night commute back home became routine, sometimes stretching past midnight. Upon returning, the guilt weighed heavy as I disturbed my peacefully sleeping wife with my noise and the lingering scent of alcohol. Tense conversations followed, where I attempted to justify my actions to my spouse, children, and myself. Apologies and promises of change would drag into the early hours, replacing hopes of a good night's sleep with restless nights.

Mornings arrived with exhaustion and regret. I never had time to work out or read and I lacked the energy and clarity to be the father my kids deserved. My wife took on much of the responsibility without complaint, but I felt guilty for not being there when they needed me most, missing out on precious moments with my young kids. This relentless cycle left me drained by the week's end. Not to mention on the weekends, I often sought solace in more drinking and watching the news for hours!

All this to say, I spent too much time being unproductive because when I drank, I couldn’t do anything that required focus and patience. Thankfully, this changed when I quit alcohol.

The end of drinking made time available for more meaningful pursuits. Because I was no longer staying out late, I was instead consistently waking up at 6 am and going to bed sober by 10:30 pm. Without the fog of alcohol, I found myself facing a new dawn of possibilities. So, I started running in the morning while listening to Audible (playing at 1.5x speed!) immersing myself in books. From Marcus Aurelius' stoicism in 'Meditations' to the profound wisdom of 'The Bhagavad Gita,' these texts helped me find inner peace and take action without expectations of reward. 'Think and Grow Rich' and 'Atomic Habits' illuminated the power of Desire, Behavior, and the science of Habit, while 'Can't Hurt Me' and 'Do Hard Things' helped me redirect my anxiety and build physical, mental, and emotional resilience.

 The abundance of time coming from sobriety together with the flexibility of work-from-home, effectively made me the winner of the Time lottery! As I contemplated the days and nights once wasted, the phrase 'Time flies when you're having Rum' took on a profound new meaning. It became a reminder and a motivator to protect my valuable time. Time for my family; Time for exercise; Time for learning; Time for writing...

Sober Thinker questions:

Think about the activities that consume most of your time. Are they adding value to your life or merely filling your hours?

Here are the books I recommend you pick up!

1. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius: A collection of personal writings by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, offering philosophical reflections on life, stoicism, and self-improvement.

2. The Bhagavad Gita: An ancient Indian scripture that presents a conversation between Prince Arjuna and Lord Krishna, addressing profound spiritual and moral dilemmas.

3. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill: A classic self-help book that outlines principles for achieving success and wealth through a positive mental attitude and goal setting.

4. Atomic Habits by James Clear: A guide to understanding and transforming habits, focusing on small changes that can lead to significant personal improvement.

5. Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins: An inspirational memoir by David Goggins, a former Navy SEAL and endurance athlete, sharing his extraordinary journey of overcoming adversity through mental toughness and discipline.

6. Do Hard Things by Alex Harris and Brett Harris: A book that challenges young people to break free from low expectations and societal norms, encouraging them to pursue meaningful and impactful goals.

Sober Thinker Meme of the Week:

Cheers!

Amir

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