Children raising Children

Hello, fellow thinker!

Quick shoutout to my amazing, best friend, Danny. Happy Birthday, Brother.

🎂

When did I become an adult? When did I become a fully grown man?

I remember growing up as the youngest in my family and among my cousins, always sitting at the kids' table, never quite old enough to join the adults in their serious conversations. I remember the joy of childhood dreams and the fear that came with the realization that life was finite. I would pray fervently in front of the mirror, begging God to let me live forever and to keep my parents safe.

I remember the love that surrounded me, the kisses, the hugs, and the cheek-pinching from family and friends. I was taught about superstitions, warned never to break a mirror, and reminded to finish my food lest bad luck chase me in my dreams. I was told to respect my elders, to give up my seat on the bus, and to always do the right thing. These lessons were imparted not just by my parents, but by my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and teachers. They all had a hand in raising me, each contributing to the values that would shape the man I would become.

I remember the friendships I made at school, and the petty dramas that caused some of them to fade. I remember the sting of failure when I didn’t do my homework and the satisfaction of success when I finally did. I remember getting into trouble for talking in class, and the excitement of being a kid at family parties, where the adults would drink and smoke while we children had our own little celebrations in the other room.

These memories are the foundation of who I am, but they are also just the beginning of the story. Because eventually, I became a parent myself. I found myself raising my children with the same beliefs and values that were instilled in me, but also with a recognition of the gaps in my own upbringing. As an immigrant, there were certain American values that I was never taught; I had to learn them on my own. And now, as a father, I do my best to pass on what I’ve learned to my kids.

There’s an image I once saw that resonates deeply with me: it showed generations of people passing down their bad habits, with one man standing strong, holding a shield to protect his children from those harmful influences.

I’m not saying this image represents my experience, it’s just the concept that resonated with me.

Don’t worry mom and dad; I love you. 🙂 

I see myself as that man for my kids. I may not be able to block out all the bad things, but I do everything in my power to pass on only the best of what I’ve learned, to teach them what is right, and to prepare them not just for happiness, but for strength and resilience.

Sometimes I wonder if having kids was the right choice, especially when I think about the financial burden and the responsibilities that come with raising them. I can’t help but imagine the life I might have had if I hadn’t become a father. But the truth is, I always imagined myself as a dad.

My children are the reason I stopped drinking and smoking. They are the reason I get up every morning and face the challenges of work and life. They bring me happiness, a sense of worth, and a purpose that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Being a parent is not easy, and it’s certainly not without its sacrifices. But when I look at my kids, I see the best of myself in them, and I know that every challenge I face is worth it. They are my legacy, and through them, I continue to grow and learn, just as I did when I was a child.

I know that kids aren’t for everyone, and I also recognize that some don’t have children for different reasons. I consider myself incredibly lucky, blessed, and thankful for this privilege and will do my best to raise respectful, good-quality human beings.

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Keep thinking, my friends!

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