The Choice to do Nothing

Hello, fellow thinker!

In this dynamic World I often feel like a rabbit running around chasing a clock always going somewhere and doing things. It can feel like I always have to do something. But that something can also be nothing; That is also doing something.

This year, one of the most transformative experiences I've had is utilizing a well-being coach through a work benefit. Unlike a therapist, a mental health coach helps you talk through situations and problems, providing a chance to reflect and gain clarity. I consider myself fortunate to have biweekly sessions, especially because I often face stressful situations at work. These sessions allow me to offload my thoughts to someone trained in untangling complexities and helping me devise solutions. This process relieves stress and helps me move forward with my week or get my weekend started on the right foot.

Recently, I had an experience that underscored the value of these coaching sessions.

As I mentioned in my previous letter, I had a situation at work where a client expressed negative feedback toward me, and as usual, I found myself overthinking and replaying the situation in my head like it was a Hollywood Drama. During my session, I explained to my coach that I couldn't let it go and felt compelled to address it and fix my relationship with the client. My coach asked me why I felt the need to overthink it. What was I trying to achieve?

I told her I felt like I had to do something to fix my relationship with the client. I said, “I can’t just do nothing, can I?” and she said - “That is also a choice. What would happen if you did nothing about it and let it just be?”

This led to an aha moment: she made me realize that not doing anything about it was indeed a choice. Accepting that I didn't have to respond immediately was liberating. Who knew that inaction could be such a proactive decision? This simple realization helped me see that sometimes, situations can resolve themselves without my intervention. It's like discovering that the secret ingredient to my secret sauce was nothing all along.

This insight extended beyond my professional life. For instance, a friend invited me to a birthday party that I couldn't attend. I dwelled on how to communicate my inability to attend, overthinking the message I would send. Should I use emojis? How many exclamation points are too many? Remembering my coach's advice, I decided to simply inform my friend that I couldn't make it, without overanalyzing my words. I sent a straightforward text, "I can't make it," and left it at that. Surprisingly, the world didn't end, and my friend didn't disown me. That was a choice I made and committed to it.

Instead of overediting the message, I said - F it. let it fly…

There is a certain confidence that comes from making a decision and sticking with it—no more overthinking, no more second-guessing. This clarity and decisiveness are incredibly freeing, allowing you to move forward in life with ease. It's like discovering that you have a superpower: the ability to do nothing and still save the day. Leave it to chance that it will all be fine.

Incorporating this approach can be a powerful tool for anyone. We often get caught up in our thoughts, feeling the need to act or respond when sometimes the best action is inaction. Deciding to let things be and allowing them to work themselves out can be just as effective, if not more so, than trying to control every outcome.

If you’re dealing with stress or overthinking situations, consider the value of a coach. They can provide the guidance and clarity needed to navigate life’s challenges more smoothly. And remember, sometimes the most powerful choice you can make is to do nothing at all.

Now if only I could get my laundry to fold itself...

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Keep thinking, my friends!

⚠️ First Time reading? Catch up on all my letters here: https://soberthinker.beehiiv.com/