Friendships

Hello, fellow thinker!

People often say that we can only maintain around 150 meaningful relationships. Any more than that, and they start to fade. This was a problem for me because I had many friends and acquaintances. But over time this changed and I no longer have a busy social life as I did before.

Throughout my life, I’ve always sought to make friends. In high school, I had a tight-knit group of friends, but I also got along well with everyone else. As I grew older, my social circle expanded through work relationships, meeting people at bars and lounges, and through mutual friends. Over the years, I maintained close ties with the people I grew up with, and my social network further expanded in my sales job where I befriended many of my clients. Some of these were purely professional relationships, while others evolved into personal and familial bonds.

Some of my closest friends today are people I did business with.

Many of my most memorable times involved social drinking. Friendships often blossomed easily, starting with a drink and leading to an “I love you man” bromance after a few more. Alcohol facilitated these connections, and I have no regrets. Nowadays, without that social lubricant, it’s harder for me to open and for others to reciprocate. At times, connections were made simply by people-watching and joking around outside a coffee shop for hours. Some of the best times were spent watching TV and just talking at night. I believe that sharing ideas without time constraints is one of the best ways to spend time with friends.

Over the past six years, several events have disrupted my life. I moved out of state, changed jobs, moved again, and then there was Covid and the shift to remote work. All of these affected my social life. Now, I hardly hear from 80% of the people I used to be close with.

I think our phones make us less social in person. We can text or use social media to reach out to many people, but it’s not the same as human connection. Also, remote work has taken away the chance to meet and interact with new people.

I miss being with people in the office. I appreciate the extra time with family and less time commuting, but I miss the social aspect of work. We had a lot of fun in the office.

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships. I remember a conversation with my aunt who said that friends come and go, and only family matters. Ironically, I don’t speak to my aunt anymore. Relationships evolve and change. Some people value connection, others don’t. Some people only want to talk about their interests. As Annie Lennox said in her song, “Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you.” Then there are truly awesome people that I just click with. 🫰🏻

It takes hard work to keep friends that fill up your bucket; it doesn’t take much effort at all to lose them. But I believe everything happens for a reason. Now, I look for new opportunities to make friends, but it’s harder as I get older. Still, I recently made a new friend and became closer to another. 👻

There are some people in my life who to this day have stayed in my life. These are the friends I’ve made over the years who I’ve truly connected with on a deep level. We may not see each other or talk as often, but when we do, it’s like we picked up exactly where we left off. 👋🏼

Dear friend, I want you to know that I cherish our friendship dearly.

Links to Stuff this week:

• Reddit Article Paste: Why Americans Stopped Hanging out

• ‘Phubbing’ Is Hurting Your Relationships. Here’s What It Is

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🤔 The Sober Thinker (@TheSoberThinker) / X (twitter.com)

Keep thinking, my friends!

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