When things fall into place

Hello fellow thinker!

In times of great change and uncertainty, I feel the urge to get sucked into a news cycle, or a hot debate with someone. But I find it better to focus on myself and my loved ones, the things I can control, and work on preparing myself for anything that comes next.

Wishing you a great deal of Grace and Courage for you to conquer your week!

Please enjoy my letter about things in life falling into place.

The moment I found out our landlords were planning to sell the house and wouldn’t be renewing our lease, a wave of uncertainty hit me. Where would we go? Would we stay in New York? Could we even afford to? This wasn’t just a passing concern—it became a daily question, something that sat at the back of my mind no matter what I was doing.

New York City real estate isn’t exactly forgiving. Buying a home here is expensive—really expensive. And as much as we had hoped to purchase a place of our own, the reality was that it would stretch us too thin. Still, we went through the motions, exploring new neighborhoods, running financial models, weighing the pros and cons of moving versus staying. We even looked outside the city, wondering if another place could offer us a new adventure. But I couldn’t shake the lingering doubt—what if we moved and didn’t like it?

That thought wasn’t abstract—it was personal. Years ago, we moved to Texas, convinced it was the right step for us. It didn’t take long to realize that while Texas had its perks, it wasn’t home. New York had always pulled us back, and eventually, we returned. That experience stayed with me. It made me cautious about uprooting my family again, worried that we’d go through the same cycle—moving somewhere else, only to realize we belonged right where we started.

So we kept looking, hoping to find the perfect balance between affordability and feeling right. We got pre-approved for a mortgage, toured homes, even put in a couple of offers. But nothing clicked. Every option came with a trade-off—too expensive, too far, not the right fit.

At times, the situation felt hopeless. I even went back to my own Sober Thinker letters, searching for something—some perspective I had once written that could help me now.

And I found it. In my aptly named letter ..“on Hopelessness”

I wrote about how dire situations can consume you, but if you give it time, solutions tend to present themselves. You just have to trust that between now and the moment when a decision needs to be made, an answer will emerge.

And that’s exactly what happened.

Out of nowhere, a Wonderful mutual connection of ours, of mine and my landlords—someone I didn’t think had a say in this situation—stepped in. (👋🏼) They spoke to our landlords, and somehow, they convinced them to let us stay. Suddenly, the pressure evaporated. The problem that had been weighing on me for months was gone in an instant. (Still feels like a dream when I think about it)

And something else shifted, too.

We have been talking about upgrading our living situation in New York. Our rental is beautiful, but it’s aged—especially compared to the Mansion we had in Texas. We missed the space, the newer finishes, the feeling of having more. There was always a quiet thought in the back of our minds that we “could do better”, that we should be “aiming for an upgrade”.

But after spending months searching for a home, facing the real possibility of losing what we had, and then having it (knock on wood) so far resolved in our favor, we see our home differently now. What once felt like a temporary situation now feels like a precious, valuable asset. The same house we once thought of as a steppingstone is now something we deeply appreciate.

When we had this home, we took it for granted. When we thought we were losing it, we realized its worth. And now that we have it again, we see it in an entirely new light.

I think Renting in today’s market actually makes more sense for us than buying at this time. It’s more affordable, and more importantly, it allows us to continue living the life we love—traveling, going to shows, investing in our kids' growth. I may not be building home equity, but I’m building family equity.

And for now, that’s more valuable than anything else.

Keep thinking my friend!

— The Sober Thinker

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