Why do we care?

Hello, fellow thinker!

This weekend, as I lounged at my parents' house in Houston, a simple yet profound question arose during a casual conversation. As I was procrastinating to write this letter, I couldn’t get myself to get started. My mother noticed my restlessness about having to write this letter, and she asked why I felt compelled to work on it. She said, who cares if you don’t write it?

I thought about it and then responded – “I care.."

But this begs the question: why do we care to do anything at all? I write to you every week because I made a commitment not just to myself but also to you, to deliver a new letter each week for a year. It’s about not breaking that promise—a promise to address the myriad challenges, obstacles, triggers, and events of my life.

I know how important this letter is to some of you and I feel obligated. Plus, I would consider myself a failure if I didn’t keep this up.

While it's tempting to choose leisure or relaxation, the satisfaction of seeing my commitment through far outweighs the temporary relief of procrastination.

Yet, caring deeply can sometimes be a double-edged sword. There are times when I think I care too much, setting unfair expectations for others and myself. In a world where my level of care surpasses that of those around me, loneliness can ensue, and one might end up making more enemies than friends. This kind of stress—stemming from an overwhelming desire to make everything perfect—can lead to exhaustion and ultimately become detrimental to one's health. Is it worth pursuing efforts to make everything right when the end result is often disappointment and burnout?

Reflecting on this, I recall a recent session with my life coach, who helped me realize that controlling how much and what we care about is key. We must choose our passions carefully and distribute our energy wisely. When faced with a decision, I now consider how much of my energy I want to expend and how much I should care about the situation.

This approach allows me to measure the effort I'm willing to put in and to mitigate the stress and fallout when things don’t go as planned. It’s a step towards achieving moderation—something I’ve always struggled with.

In my professional life as a customer advocate, my dedication to excellence is driven by my genuine care for our customers. I strive to ensure they receive value that exceeds their expectations, feeling well-served enough to return. As Simon Sinek wisely said, "People don’t just remember what we do; they remember how we make them feel." This philosophy underscores the importance of caring in delivering outstanding service.

My personal values—health, wealth, education, and fun—further guide my actions. I meticulously plan workouts, prepare nutritious meals, and manage my finances with an eye toward future security. I immerse myself in learning, both professionally and personally, and maintain a careful balance in my social activities, especially as I uphold my commitment to sobriety. Learning to care for myself has been the first step in achieving this.

The concept of caring shapes not only our personal commitments but also influences our professional endeavors and relationships. It is the underlying force that drives us to pursue excellence and make meaningful choices.

So, as you read this letter, I encourage you to reflect on what you care about. Consider how this shapes your actions and priorities. What could happen in your life if caring was at the core of every decision? Embrace the power of caring, but also learn to harness it wisely, ensuring it leads us to fulfillment rather than fatigue.

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Keep thinking, my friends!

⚠️ First Time reading? Catch up on all my letters here: https://soberthinker.beehiiv.com/